Crossroads

So I was 5 days late on my period, and I showed multiple symptoms for how many days past ovulation I was. I even had all the cervix signs. And then my period showed up, which I'm not disputing.

I've gone over, more times than I care to admit, my feelings about what would happen if I became a pregnant teen. I truly wouldn't be worried other than for the health of my baby, and I wouldn't have much of an issue adjusting from being a teen to a mother. To me, having a child at this age isn't so much a curse or just a responsibility in need of owning up to. Children are miracles, with numerous joys attached to the responsibility of being a parent; if all that existed in parenthood were the negatives and responsibilities, no one would reproduce or raise children.

TJ does not share in my viewpoints, sadly. Then again, he doesn't have the same background as I do when it comes to the drive for parenting. He gets extremely worried when it gets close to my period, he focuses on the negatives of being young parents when we discuss the "what if" scenario, and when I ask what he'd do, he says, essentially, that the baby is a responsibility that he'd take care of. He also believes having a baby so young would bring his world crashing down and he'll never amount to anything and his entire future will be in ruin.

I understand his words are that of a normal teenager response, but that kind of response is not acceptable with me. If we got pregnant, our parents would, originally, solely emphasize the responsibility and difficulties, and because of that argument he and I need to stay on the positives. I can't work with someone on something so crucial who has such a drastically different standpoint.

What I know is that, if we did get pregnant, once he held his child in his arms, the world would disappear around him and his attention would focus on that baby and nothing else, that he would push all the negativity aside and look forward to the milestones in his or her life. But he hasn't realized that yet.

I know I can't forcibly change his mental position, I can't make him take my side on this whole issue, but I do know that I can't take much more negativity. I'm at a crossroads in our relationship once again, and I don't know what way I'll go.

Love,
Caitlyn