The Girl

The first time I saw Patrick Stump live, I met a girl in line named Hannah. Petite, a little younger than me. Together we pushed our way to stage front, and I made sure she was in front of me because a) she was shorter than me and b) I recall that night being her first concert. It was quite the intimate bonding experience, and after Patrick got off stage, we waited around together, jointly attempting (and failing) at convincing our respective parent to stay a little longer so we could meet him because we just KNEW he was going to come out any minute. We wouldn't really find out. And when we left, we didn't know anything about each other than each other's names. She didn't have Twitter at the time, and we didn't get phone numbers. But about a month or less later, she made herself a Twitter and found me. We've been friends ever since.

Naturally, there's more. We shared much in common. Our love for Fall Out Boy. Our outlook on the world. Our mental health. Our indulgence in self-harm. And all of that together only brought us closer. For over a year now, I've been one of her go-tos; you know, someone you know you can go to without a doubt for anything, and she's been one of mine. I like to think that I've helped her out of some pretty tough situations, situations that if left without help could have led to things she couldn't take back. While there's no such thing as a "cure" for all of this, for everything that's "wrong" with us, there is such a thing as feeling better. Because each day we don't succumb to that darkness inside of us is one more good day under our belts.

She's going through so much right now. None of which I'm sharing out of her right to privacy, and it's not my story to tell. But I will say that it's all very hard, harder than I've ever gone through. That's the truth.

For you, because I know you're reading: no matter how bad things get, no matter how much you're struggling and think it's hopeless, no matter how much you want to give up, no matter the times you give in to that terrible addiction, I will always be there. Understand that. I'm not going anywhere. You could never annoy me. You could never scare me off. You're the sibling I never had, and I love you. I see so much of myself in you. But just know I'm here.