The Pressure of Traditional Family

As I've shared previously, earlier in the year I reached out to religion and church whole-heartedly in order to get through deep emotional hardship. However, as I began feeling not nearly as attached to church as I used to be, I started faking sicknesses and such just to not have to go to church Sunday mornings. I told my mom that it was just because I wasn't used to a schedule anymore, and so she said that once I came back from TIP and school started, we'd all be going to church again. I, however, am becoming against it.

In a way, church was a detox and rehab facility for me: I needed something drastic to redirect me, something that would give me the skills I have to have in order to properly function. But people don't stay in detox and rehab forever.

Last Sunday, my mom and I didn't go to church, but my stepdad did; I asked Mom why he went, considering he NEVER does anything alone, and she responded with, "Maybe he needed the message today more than I did." And that made sense to me. When I started going to church, the messages were at least touching on sex, and then there was the four-week sex section. It all guided me towards what I needed at the time, and I'm grateful for it. However, after receiving the skills to get through any future situations on my own, I felt (and still feel) that it's not necessary to go to church on Sundays. I still want to be involved in youth group there, and I plan on attending at least the Friday Night Blitz events. I don't believe you need to go to church on Sundays to be religious, but this conflicts with my very traditional family.

You see, my mom has finally found a church she likes, and so she's adamant in going every Sunday when she's up to it. My dad and stepmom are the music directors at another church, and they have to go every Sunday to perform in the praise band. I've talked to both parents about my beliefs and feelings, and they're both stuck in their own opinions and beliefs. My dad has even put going to church every Sunday as a condition for plane tickets. I realize that I can't change their thoughts and opinions, but I just wish they had enough respect for my own thoughts and opinions that they'd allow me to do what I feel is necessary.

I own a copy of the Bible, I enjoy youth group and associated activities; I just do not want to go to church every Sunday morning. If I feel the message is important enough, I'll go.

Two more teenage-related reason for not going to church every Sunday are that 1) I don't really know anyone that goes to Sunday services enough to both talk to them and sit with them, and 2) sleep is important to me and I want to be able to relax on the weekend when I don't have to go to school.

Love,
Caitlyn