So in my most recent post, I talked about how Jimmy was driving me absolutely crazy by simply existing and how much easier life was when I didn't have to worry about him.
Well, I have a [drastic] solution: drop out of IB.
I started thinking about IB when I found out in seventh grade that both Jimmy and my best friend of the time Maryse were going into the program and I was practically forced into deciding to go. Then that summer came along and well, we all know about that don't we? But after, I started going to the meetings and such and had some time to think and I realized that at this particular moment in my life, IB was a good thing. I'd be saved from the general stupidity that I would face at Mitchell High, and all would be well.
I didn't think about the program much until the day I went for my schedule and I remembered what I'd be facing if I went here (do I really need to tell ya'll?). But I did, got my locker and ran around school to find my classes and was, thankfully, very close to all of them. Seeing Jimmy didn't really bother me much at all until all of the fights I was having with Chelsi, and Graham and I were having our issues, but even before October and early November, Jimmy would start up that adrenaline rush inside of me, and I started getting scared of any type of contact between the two of us (which was, obviously, forgotten). It was awful to have this internal radar of where he was at all times, like a biological thing I couldn't turn off; if I turned at my locker to face the double doors he'd be at his locker, or if I turned to go find my friends in the morning he'd just be getting to school and I'd see him. The worst was when I'd be going to lunch and I'd be texting and just be doing automatic things and I'd be done texting and look up and BAM he'd be at his locker. It got old and exhausting very quickly.
Fast-forward through what happened last semester and at the beginning of this semester, and now the same things happen, but now he's with his girlfriend. Who, in case I haven't mentioned this earlier, is half his height (just imagine my surprise; what would you do if you saw your ex with a girl that was the complete opposite of you?). So yes, the past month has been especially hard. Not to mention when I start getting comfortable, to an extent, he texts me and tells me to take off his full name off of my blog.
I have something to say about that. Everyone that knows me, to an extent, knows I slept with "that tall ginger kid in black, over there?" and therefore they can figure out his name at some point; I give them his name anyway. My blog cannot be found via a search engine, and thus you readers got here by receiving the link from another person. So then, what is the huge issue with having his whole name on here? Mitchell begged me, pleaded with me, and was nice to me when he asked for his full name to be taken off, and even though he had dropped me as well (I'll explain later) at least he was nice about it. He isn't like Jimmy, a pompous asshole that believes he's God's gift to the world most of the time and has hurt me too many times. Hence, it's going to take a plethura more than a text message or two for him to get me to take his full name off.
Back to the issue of IB or not. Jimmy isn't the only reason I feel like I want to drop out; besides, the issue goes deeper. I don't just feel like I want to drop out of IB. I want to drop out of high school. People this age are just...immature, to say the least, and I am sick and tired of the select few ruining it for the majority. I'd get my GED, apply for sonography school, and be out by the time I'm eighteen. Then I could get over all the bullshit of young life and start my adult experiences. Granted, I know quite a few of the idiots in IB will be leaving after the summer is over, and I can't drop out of high school until I'm sixteen, so there will be some time to mull this all over. Again, teenagers do go through phases of what they want to do with their lives, so maybe this is just one of mine. I don't know, to be honest. I guess I'm just going to have to wait in order to find out.
On another note, I will be blogging soon about Silver Ring Thing and such, not to mention the things with Mitchell that happened last month.
OH. And for those of you that have read my Sherron blog post, please please please post your comments. I wanna know what ya'll think about what I said.
Love,
Caitlyn
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