Miss Brightside

Sitting here on my couch next to this girl, and that's enough to inspire me to write all this. Just sitting on the same couch at the same time reminds me of all the utter crap we've gone through, how far we've come as best friends.

I met her in seventh grade. She came in halfway through the year. She was in my math class, and she was in the gifted program. I thought she was kinda weird. Our first actual encounter was when I asked if something was wrong, because she was crying, and she yelled at me to go away. Didn't really interact until the following year in eighth grade. I was wrapped up with maintaining my new relationship with Graham, but Chelsi and I would walk over to the high school together, along with two other girls, for math class, since we were in geometry. She buddied up more with the other girl, Megan, whereas I was with the "leftover" Sam. There was constant drama between Megan and Sam, so Chels and I never really talked. Not until Megan moved.

The three of us became best friends: Sam, Chelsi, and me, though Chels and I got closer. We shared a special bond because of our mutual messed-up pasts and presents: cutting, depression, emotional distress. We became especially closer after she invited me to her fourteenth birthday, and then after that we were basically inseparable. She was there for me when I had my long-distance woes, and I was there for her for the middle school crushes and the Michael Jacobs heartache. We were always there for each other, and when Sam got a boyfriend and became obsessive with him, we could only turn more into each other as friends. Every sleepover was basically the two of us, because Sam was always talking to Luis. We were continuously getting into joint arguments and interventions with Sam from the very end of eighth grade to the middle of the following summer when I went to TIP for the second time.

Cue freshman year. I wasn't friends with Sam anymore at all, but Chels had managed to salvage their relationship, and I didn't approve. Within the first week, we were fighting, actually slinging insults and ignoring each other. I tweeted passive-aggressive things about her so that she would read them. I distinctly remember one in particular: "The return isn't sweet. Voice like nails on chalkboard." We'd always make up, though, within about a week. The longest we've ever gone without talking is roughly a month or so, however. The bickering never ended, not until Sam dropped out of IB. But then there was Sherron (see "Our Very Own Shay-la" for more), who no one could stand, especially me and Chels, but Chelsi couldn't voice her opinion to Sherron's face. Because I'm very blunt, this utterly infuriated me, beyond the point of her and Sam. Then Sherron got committed, and we were close again. We didn't fight again for a really long time, not even over something petty and stupid.

Then the summer. She skipped my fifteenth birthday to be with Sam for hers, since our birthdays are so close, and then skipped another date we had to have sex with her boyfriend. We fought a lot after that. But then Graham and I broke up in sophomore year, and I was essentially comatose. I wasn't talking to anyone except him for at least a couple months. I tried to talk, but I always ended in tears. I was officially and utterly broken. But Chelsi was there. She talked with me and got my mind off of things when I was literally about to be over the edge, and she didn't even realize it. We were there for each other when we'd both been in that suicidal place at the same time. She was my rock; she still is. And I don't say that enough. We were really good the rest of that year, and the rest of that summer. Closer than we'd been in awhile. Came out the other side okay.

The beginning of this year, junior year, started off shaky. For one reason or another, I decided to ignore her. No fighting, no disagreement. Then all of a sudden we'd be talking again. That happened for a few months. Then she left good-guy Lucas for Anthony, a guy I had my suspicions about. As her best friend, I'm always looking out for her. Then we weren't talking again, and she decided to tell her boyfriend something out of anger. He told it to one of his friends, and then that kid spread it the entire IB junior class. It was miserable (see "Rumor Has It"). In fairness, I was telling Lucas, who she was still kind of toying with at the time, to drop her because I didn't believe it was right. We didn't talk from Thanksgiving until well into January. But then we made up somehow. We had one slight misgiving in between, but now we're back to normal.

I've missed my best friend, and in all the time we've been apart I've evaluated how much I need her. We're each other's other half, as far as friendship goes. As much as we get mad and fight, it only accentuates our care and passion in our relationship. We're only human, nothing perfect. We've gotten into disagreements, and I'm sure there will be plenty more. I don't quite remember why she fell in love with The Killers' "Mr. Brightside," but she started identifying with "Miss Brightside" (her Twitter username involves it), and it's stuck with her ever since, hence the title.

Chelsi is one of those friends who you can see yourself still being close with after high school and through college, the kind of friend you name godmother of your children in case you and your spouse die. She's the maid of honor, the girl people are lucky to know, if they stick around to get to know her enough to understand her. She's the girl any guy would be lucky to have to call theirs, if they would just mature and meet her so they can be worthy. Throughout all of the fighting and lies and secrecy and ignorance and immaturity, I love my best friend Chelsi Erin.

Love,
Caitlyn