Just Hair?

I cut my hair the other day. Went from it being past my boobs in the front and past my bra straps in the back to just past my shoulders and collar bone. I really actually love it. Quite a nice change. Any shorter would've been too much. Maybe more layers next time and more bangs and more angles, but the base I have now is really nice.

A few things went into deciding to cut it in general, a few to having it cut now rather than later. For now over later, the only other time I would've cut it was going to be around my 18th birthday and before the FOB concert in Orlando. The summer before college, that's enough change for me. Don't need new hair on top of it. Plus I wanna get used to styling it and whatnot for prom and graduation. As for the general ideas, this new length is much easier to style and dry, allowing me time in the morning for make-up. I haven't been able to put any on for the school day in months, but now I can. Makes me feel part of the human race again. It works now, plus it'll be really helpful in college when I don't care about my hair and such. I also wanted to cut my hair to avoid the sweat from the concert I'll be going to over the summer, since I know it'll be hot as balls in June. But one of the bigger reasons was that I just wanted something to change. I've been through a lot of change in high school: fiance to ex (who had always told me he liked girls with long hair), an entire shift in my future, near-death experiences, recovery, a hiatus, losing old friends, making new (better) friends, heartache, laughter. The whole nine yards of change happened. Did you know I still had hair on my head from when Graham and I were together? From when we started dating, even? From when I slept with Jimmy? From when I flirted with Mitch? From when I made a fool of myself time and time again? From the drug overdose in my system? From running away to live with my dad for months? It was all there, and I wanted it gone. Needed it gone.

I'm not the same person I was when I started this blog, or probably from the start of my senior year. I needed something to reflect that change, something new for the new me. So, I cut my hair. TJ said it makes me look like my mom. Don't really care. I make it look fabulous. And pretty much everyone who's seen it likes it too.

Things are finally going well over on my side of things. I'm happy. I have so many great, amazing, beautiful memories to look forward to making in the coming months, and years. I officially sent in my enrollment deposit for UofR the day after my last post, and they sent me a "free" scarf. It's so soft! I'm making so many new friends with so many things in common that it hurts to know I've only just met them now. Plenty of shenanigans to get ourselves into. As for school right now, it's coming along. Only 102 days or so until graduation. Can't wait for prom and this summer with TJ. It's our last time together for...awhile. I mean we'll try to visit with the train monthly and holidays and whatnot, but for all we know, that could be our last "perfect" time, so to speak. I don't know what's going to happen to us, but I know that I'm going to try. That's all either of us can do. This time around, I'm not going to do anything to fuck it up. I won't make things messy, however hard it may be. IF we break up during the year, it won't be because I cheated or want someone else. It won't be because things got too hard. It won't be because I wasn't considerate. I refuse to let anything like that happen.

In lighter news...very excited for the FOB comeback concert in June. And a prospective new tattoo. And for seeing Trick after nearly two years in a month or so. And for Save Rock and Roll in April (instead of May because my favorite band is better than yours).

Much love,
Caitlyn