Getting summer homework done before I leave next Saturday for Rochester. I'm out of my mind excited, sans the part where I won't see TJ for a month. He's already acting like I'm gone and it's driving me crazy. He doesn't get it yet, but he will. Anyway I still have to pack and whatnot. Couple things to finish up here, like doctors and other appointments.
In the meantime, today is the day Jimmy leaves for college. We were supposed to make cookies together a couple days ago, per his request, but he never really followed up. I made the cookies anyway, because I love baking (duh). It was more than making cookies, though. I've known Jimmy longer than I've known anyone. We've gone through a lot together, as I've detailed throughout this blog. And I know that once he leaves, I know I'll most likely not see him again, which I can live with if I only can get a good-bye. Not getting closure with Graham killed me, and I'm not about to accept the same series of events when it comes to Jimmy.
He leaves sometime today, I guess, and he posted on Facebook last night about being ready to go. So, after much internal debate, I texted him.
Me: Too bad you never got those cookies.
Jimmy: ... shit
Me: Didn't seem all that important to you anyways lol. Just thought it would've been a fun thing to do before you left
Jimmy: I wanted to, there was just no time.
Me: That's life, I guess
Jimmy: Agreed.
Me: Just sucks.
Jimmy: I know... I wanted those cookies.
Me: It's more than that though.
Jimmy: I'm not leaving forever.
Me: Part of it is that the probability of me seeing you again is, like, zero. The other part is that I've known you longer than anyone else, and we've been through a lot. I don't like not getting to say goodbye. Not again.
Jimmy: Again, not leaving forever.
Me: Long enough
Jimmy: I'm coming back in two weeks.
Me: And I'll be gone for Rochester
Jimmy: Welp.
Me: Yeah
Since he didn't respond after that I just kinda gave up. Throughout the entire conversation I was crying, because it just hurts. Not that he's leaving, not like "Jimmy's leaving to go do what he's dreamed of doing and I just wish he could stay here because I'm going to miss him so much," even though I will miss him. I just don't do well when I can't say goodbye. I saw him last week before I left for California. Met at Starbucks, walked around our local plaza for a bit, made a date for cookies. And that was it. I put "it" off because I expected there would be more. And now he's going to be gone.
This event is bittersweet. I'm happy for him that he's getting out of here and going off to college and meeting people, accomplishing something he's wanted to do since from when we met. It just completely utterly sucks that here's this person who I've gone back and forth with, and he's gone back and forth with me, and we've come so far, and he means something to me (due to history), and now he's leaving and I never got to say goodbye.
I remember a whole lot more about things than he does, two of them being that "our song" was Hum Hallelujah (FOB of course) and that he told me to never tell him that I missed him. Right now, even the phrase "hum hallelujah" fits how I feel, and I know without a doubt that I will miss him. He was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on after Graham left. He was there when I needed a reality check for the last five years. He was there when I needed advice or just someone to hang out with. Bottom line, he was there when I needed him. And I'm gonna miss the hell out of that.
It's 8:40 in the morning. I should probably shower, or eat something. I'm determined to finish most of the english assignment today, followed by final allergy testings and all results, then dinner with my dad. Just a normal Thursday.
Love,
Caitlyn
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Part 2: When It All Goes to Hell
So we were engaged. Happy. Head over heels, in love. Innocent. Not for long.
Our beloved TIP was cut short due to my contracting swine flu (H1N1), and I left about a week into the program without so much as a goodbye. When I got better from home, plans immediately began for our first high school visit: homecoming at my school. With only a few months of a wait between the end of TIP and homecoming in October, we figured the time passed would be easy. I thought all of high school together would be easy. It wasn't.
I knew throughout 8th grade with Graham that I'd run into Jimmy again, but I thought that being engaged would've been enough to put me past all of that. I was very, very wrong. The split second I saw him my first day of freshman year, my heart skipped and I had hot flashes. I was nervous, and he triggered my "fight or flight" adrenaline response. But for the first few months of high school, we didn't interact much, if at all.
Meanwhile, Graham and I were progressing in our relationship. We used Skype for "sex," along with nightly phone calls. Based on our sexual escapades at TIP (and our ignorance), we believed that not only had I gotten pregnant, but also that I miscarried. It was the worst thing that happened that had happened to our relationship at that point. We were crying on a daily basis, and we couldn't talk about anything but what we believed was a loss of a future child. All we wanted was to marry and start our family young, and when we thought we had a chance, it was ripped away from us. It killed us. We never got distant, as we talked plenty, but the experience deeply influenced the coming events.
Homecoming came, and it was the first time we had what we arguably considered real sex. We were watching a movie alone, and it just...happened. He never orgasmed, because I wasn't doing all that much and it was more of a "let's see if we can do this" thing, but it was enough. When he left, we felt closer than ever. And giving my virginity to him felt right. After, I was faced with school and how I remembered that I was fighting with my best friend. I recall feeling able to reach out to Jimmy (via YouTube) and talk; we ended up becoming friends, and the first thing we talked about was Graham. How happy I was, how happy he was, how happy we were as a couple, how far we'd gotten. Everything. In retrospect, even making contact was a mistake, as far as what it'd do to my relationship with Graham.
I figured out pretty damn quick I wanted something more with Jimmy. I'd never gotten over him, and now that I was older and more experienced, I thought I could handle it. I fought with Graham because of my inner frustration between giving into my temptation and being faithful to who I thought was my true love. Jimmy and I texted constantly about striking up a friends-with-benefits situation, and I attempted to try and get Graham to agree to us kissing to freak out Chelsi; he completely disagreed. But, as I was doing at the time, I disobeyed. Jimmy and I agreed to one kiss after first period one morning, and if it was any good then we'd continue. I dressed up in what I thought was my sexiest outfit, and we made out. I remember getting lost in the kiss and how right after I got to my second period he texted me saying we would definitely continue. The affair lasted from around the end of October through the end of December, ending with us having sex ("Him" part 2). And throughout this time, Graham had absolutely no idea.
Until Graham found out, I didn't regret it. I lived my life as I normally would have. I visited Graham with my mom in December, where we tried to have sex outside in the cold. Combined with this failure, my having had slept with Jimmy, and the failed attempt afterwards, I was frustrated. Annoyed. And I lashed out against him. It was pretty much a miserable and cold few days in North Carolina. Things remained the same once I got home. We continued to plan for our Valentine's Day visit, like we'd wanted the year prior. About four weeks before it, Jimmy quit talking to me altogether, claiming he didn't care about me and he wished I would disappear. I cried, utterly distraught at not only losing someone I cared about and loved (I realize now I was in love with him), but that I put my relationship in jeopardy by sleeping with him. Within a week I was dropping hints on my Twitter about my guilt over the affair, and Graham caught on fast.
I confessed over text message, since I was at school and he was still on winter break. And he was heartbroken. We said we'd talk when I got home from school, but while I was still gone he got into my Twitter and changed my username to "@The_Slut" for awhile. I had nothing to say, considering I would be that upset too if he'd done that to me (he later did). I didn't know what I was walking into when I got home, but I was prepared for pretty much everything. When I called, he picked up, but he refused to talk except for bitterly asking me to explain how and why it happened. And I was in tears, because I could hear the hurt in his voice. It was a hard few days (not to mention the plenty of time to follow), but he seemed to get better.
I admit now that I pushed him into forgiving me faster than he was ready to. In retrospect, I should've let him do what he needed to do, regardless of what that may have been. I should've taken responsibility for my actions instead of trying to sweep the mess under the rug. And me pushing for forgiveness and our normality fueled everything in the rest of our relationship.
Two weeks before Valentine's Day he confessed to a sort of emotional connection thing with a girl in his theater class named Lauren. From my continuing guilt over the Jimmy thing, I didn't react to it the way I should have and was allowed to. Two wrongs don't make a right, but he thought it was us getting even. Regardless of the turmoil, our Valentine's Day visit went well. We were okay, it seemed. He "made" me a shirt with "Property of Graham Howell" on the front and "Valentine's Day 2010" on the back, written by hand. I also got a pair of his boxers and a couple old t-shirts from before he "got in shape," as he called it. With his new haircut and body, he was morphing far from the cute and cuddly "teddyGwaham" I fell in love with, and it killed me. I was paranoid and jealous and overly controlling. Instead of working out, it only fueled the tension between us.
On a fairly regular basis, he'd get mad over Jimmy and I talking at school because he thought I had no business doing so. And then just a few weeks before he was supposed to visit for my fifth year dance recital, I got a text message from him intended for another girl; it detailed having her come over, alone, to his house. He originally tried to cover it up by saying it was a dare from his guy friends to see how I'd react, to which I yelled and screamed and told him he was to never associate himself with them again because a stunt like that in the state we were in wasn't funny. After a minute, he said he lied about that and confessed to cheating on me with a girl named Rachel (this is detailed in previous posts). After, we agreed on a break for a long weekend, where we were supposed to contemplate our relationship and see if we really wanted to continue long distance. One day into it he was begging to let me take him back, and I did. I told him I didn't think I was ready for our visit, but he countered with the fact that it was the same amount of time I gave him when he found out about Jimmy before the last visit. So, I got over myself and welcomed him to Florida with open arms.
The visit went better than expected, and we had renewed faith in the relationship. I was on my religious kick prior to the visit (also detailed in previous posts), but it all got thrown out the window when we had sex whilst alone in a movie theater. For over a year, it was "the time" to compare all other times to. We watched the rest of the movie, went to the mall, and attended my stage rehearsal. He left with our relationship in good spirits.
Little did he, or anyone else, know that I struck back up with Jimmy. He apparently was having relationship troubles, which I was more than happy to help out with, and all that resulted in plenty of sexting and other talking. We discussed a lot, and my feelings for him grew to even the point I felt about Graham. I felt happy and conflicted at the same time, especially when Jimmy said that if there were no Graham or Monika (his paramour of the time), he'd be with me. And I heavily considered it.
So our third year of TIP came around, and it became more difficult to keep in touch with Jimmy while enjoying Graham. I'd wait until I was in bed to text to maximize the time I had with Graham, during which I found out he'd given up Monika because she wouldn't jump on any kind of solid relationship with him. It only made things more difficult, because I started to really think about leaving Graham while still in school but marrying him later, since I'd already begun planning the wedding. It created even more tension between us, adding on us not being able to publicly express our feelings for each other on this TIP campus. That, and me talking to Jimmy at all set off Graham to the point where he'd ignore me. And then I found that he kept a list of phone numbers on paper for people he wanted to talk to that I didn't like, but that if I checked his phone I wouldn't find them.
Our second anniversary, however, went well. He gave me a stained glass image of a sunset that he made himself, and I made him a blanket. It was just us in the world, even though my mind was wandering.
I didn't know then that it'd be the last time I would see him.
Love,
Caitlyn
Our beloved TIP was cut short due to my contracting swine flu (H1N1), and I left about a week into the program without so much as a goodbye. When I got better from home, plans immediately began for our first high school visit: homecoming at my school. With only a few months of a wait between the end of TIP and homecoming in October, we figured the time passed would be easy. I thought all of high school together would be easy. It wasn't.
I knew throughout 8th grade with Graham that I'd run into Jimmy again, but I thought that being engaged would've been enough to put me past all of that. I was very, very wrong. The split second I saw him my first day of freshman year, my heart skipped and I had hot flashes. I was nervous, and he triggered my "fight or flight" adrenaline response. But for the first few months of high school, we didn't interact much, if at all.
Meanwhile, Graham and I were progressing in our relationship. We used Skype for "sex," along with nightly phone calls. Based on our sexual escapades at TIP (and our ignorance), we believed that not only had I gotten pregnant, but also that I miscarried. It was the worst thing that happened that had happened to our relationship at that point. We were crying on a daily basis, and we couldn't talk about anything but what we believed was a loss of a future child. All we wanted was to marry and start our family young, and when we thought we had a chance, it was ripped away from us. It killed us. We never got distant, as we talked plenty, but the experience deeply influenced the coming events.
Homecoming came, and it was the first time we had what we arguably considered real sex. We were watching a movie alone, and it just...happened. He never orgasmed, because I wasn't doing all that much and it was more of a "let's see if we can do this" thing, but it was enough. When he left, we felt closer than ever. And giving my virginity to him felt right. After, I was faced with school and how I remembered that I was fighting with my best friend. I recall feeling able to reach out to Jimmy (via YouTube) and talk; we ended up becoming friends, and the first thing we talked about was Graham. How happy I was, how happy he was, how happy we were as a couple, how far we'd gotten. Everything. In retrospect, even making contact was a mistake, as far as what it'd do to my relationship with Graham.
I figured out pretty damn quick I wanted something more with Jimmy. I'd never gotten over him, and now that I was older and more experienced, I thought I could handle it. I fought with Graham because of my inner frustration between giving into my temptation and being faithful to who I thought was my true love. Jimmy and I texted constantly about striking up a friends-with-benefits situation, and I attempted to try and get Graham to agree to us kissing to freak out Chelsi; he completely disagreed. But, as I was doing at the time, I disobeyed. Jimmy and I agreed to one kiss after first period one morning, and if it was any good then we'd continue. I dressed up in what I thought was my sexiest outfit, and we made out. I remember getting lost in the kiss and how right after I got to my second period he texted me saying we would definitely continue. The affair lasted from around the end of October through the end of December, ending with us having sex ("Him" part 2). And throughout this time, Graham had absolutely no idea.
Until Graham found out, I didn't regret it. I lived my life as I normally would have. I visited Graham with my mom in December, where we tried to have sex outside in the cold. Combined with this failure, my having had slept with Jimmy, and the failed attempt afterwards, I was frustrated. Annoyed. And I lashed out against him. It was pretty much a miserable and cold few days in North Carolina. Things remained the same once I got home. We continued to plan for our Valentine's Day visit, like we'd wanted the year prior. About four weeks before it, Jimmy quit talking to me altogether, claiming he didn't care about me and he wished I would disappear. I cried, utterly distraught at not only losing someone I cared about and loved (I realize now I was in love with him), but that I put my relationship in jeopardy by sleeping with him. Within a week I was dropping hints on my Twitter about my guilt over the affair, and Graham caught on fast.
I confessed over text message, since I was at school and he was still on winter break. And he was heartbroken. We said we'd talk when I got home from school, but while I was still gone he got into my Twitter and changed my username to "@The_Slut" for awhile. I had nothing to say, considering I would be that upset too if he'd done that to me (he later did). I didn't know what I was walking into when I got home, but I was prepared for pretty much everything. When I called, he picked up, but he refused to talk except for bitterly asking me to explain how and why it happened. And I was in tears, because I could hear the hurt in his voice. It was a hard few days (not to mention the plenty of time to follow), but he seemed to get better.
I admit now that I pushed him into forgiving me faster than he was ready to. In retrospect, I should've let him do what he needed to do, regardless of what that may have been. I should've taken responsibility for my actions instead of trying to sweep the mess under the rug. And me pushing for forgiveness and our normality fueled everything in the rest of our relationship.
Two weeks before Valentine's Day he confessed to a sort of emotional connection thing with a girl in his theater class named Lauren. From my continuing guilt over the Jimmy thing, I didn't react to it the way I should have and was allowed to. Two wrongs don't make a right, but he thought it was us getting even. Regardless of the turmoil, our Valentine's Day visit went well. We were okay, it seemed. He "made" me a shirt with "Property of Graham Howell" on the front and "Valentine's Day 2010" on the back, written by hand. I also got a pair of his boxers and a couple old t-shirts from before he "got in shape," as he called it. With his new haircut and body, he was morphing far from the cute and cuddly "teddyGwaham" I fell in love with, and it killed me. I was paranoid and jealous and overly controlling. Instead of working out, it only fueled the tension between us.
On a fairly regular basis, he'd get mad over Jimmy and I talking at school because he thought I had no business doing so. And then just a few weeks before he was supposed to visit for my fifth year dance recital, I got a text message from him intended for another girl; it detailed having her come over, alone, to his house. He originally tried to cover it up by saying it was a dare from his guy friends to see how I'd react, to which I yelled and screamed and told him he was to never associate himself with them again because a stunt like that in the state we were in wasn't funny. After a minute, he said he lied about that and confessed to cheating on me with a girl named Rachel (this is detailed in previous posts). After, we agreed on a break for a long weekend, where we were supposed to contemplate our relationship and see if we really wanted to continue long distance. One day into it he was begging to let me take him back, and I did. I told him I didn't think I was ready for our visit, but he countered with the fact that it was the same amount of time I gave him when he found out about Jimmy before the last visit. So, I got over myself and welcomed him to Florida with open arms.
The visit went better than expected, and we had renewed faith in the relationship. I was on my religious kick prior to the visit (also detailed in previous posts), but it all got thrown out the window when we had sex whilst alone in a movie theater. For over a year, it was "the time" to compare all other times to. We watched the rest of the movie, went to the mall, and attended my stage rehearsal. He left with our relationship in good spirits.
Little did he, or anyone else, know that I struck back up with Jimmy. He apparently was having relationship troubles, which I was more than happy to help out with, and all that resulted in plenty of sexting and other talking. We discussed a lot, and my feelings for him grew to even the point I felt about Graham. I felt happy and conflicted at the same time, especially when Jimmy said that if there were no Graham or Monika (his paramour of the time), he'd be with me. And I heavily considered it.
So our third year of TIP came around, and it became more difficult to keep in touch with Jimmy while enjoying Graham. I'd wait until I was in bed to text to maximize the time I had with Graham, during which I found out he'd given up Monika because she wouldn't jump on any kind of solid relationship with him. It only made things more difficult, because I started to really think about leaving Graham while still in school but marrying him later, since I'd already begun planning the wedding. It created even more tension between us, adding on us not being able to publicly express our feelings for each other on this TIP campus. That, and me talking to Jimmy at all set off Graham to the point where he'd ignore me. And then I found that he kept a list of phone numbers on paper for people he wanted to talk to that I didn't like, but that if I checked his phone I wouldn't find them.
Our second anniversary, however, went well. He gave me a stained glass image of a sunset that he made himself, and I made him a blanket. It was just us in the world, even though my mind was wandering.
I didn't know then that it'd be the last time I would see him.
Love,
Caitlyn
Thursday, June 14, 2012
In the Middle of Summer...
Summer's setting in. I've been doing quite a bit of nothing except picking up yoga (courtesy of my amazing cousin Brianne) and planning out trips for next summer.
But while I've been home, TJ's been gone with his grandparents a three-hour drive away. It took, like, two days for me to start wanting him home. He comes home today, and it's been 5ish days since I've seen him. This isn't good. I mean, I'm glad he's coming home, but this reaction of mine signals feelings I haven't felt in two years. Distance is a bitch. And now I'm going to be gone next week for 5 days, and a couple weeks after that I'll be gone for a month.
As long as we each stay busy, it'll distract us, but it's impossible to be busy 100% of the time. And the last thing I want to happen for our relationship is for it to turn into exactly what I had before with a long distance relationship. I know that this is only for the summer, but what about college? What about, at "worst,"if I go to Rochester and he goes to the University of Chicago? That's a ten hour drive either direction. I really don't want to do that again.
But that doesn't mean I think we should break up after senior year. There's so much we don't know about our future that it'd be silly to do anything except continue doing what we've been doing. I'm happy for the progress we've made. I've allowed myself to begin picturing a future with TJ, something that wasn't very easy to do. I'm looking forward to that future, but I remain wary and thus not as attached as I'd gotten in my prior relationship. I know things can change in the blink of an eye, and all I have to do is remember it. Whatever happens, happens. I can't control what TJ does or doesn't do, I can only hope that he thinks the same way as I do and feels the same way about me that I feel about him.
On a lighter note, I have all the money for my tattoo, and I emailed the artist who will be designing it and inking me. After that, it's just a matter of time. This year is my last year of dance; I just...can't waste my time with it anymore. As much as I love dancing, I don't have the time to spend standing around talking when I could be doing homework or studying for tests. It fueled my transition into yoga, which is a more lifelong practice and it successfully destresses me. It truly does wonders.
I've forgotten how much I love summer.
Love,
Caitlyn
But while I've been home, TJ's been gone with his grandparents a three-hour drive away. It took, like, two days for me to start wanting him home. He comes home today, and it's been 5ish days since I've seen him. This isn't good. I mean, I'm glad he's coming home, but this reaction of mine signals feelings I haven't felt in two years. Distance is a bitch. And now I'm going to be gone next week for 5 days, and a couple weeks after that I'll be gone for a month.
As long as we each stay busy, it'll distract us, but it's impossible to be busy 100% of the time. And the last thing I want to happen for our relationship is for it to turn into exactly what I had before with a long distance relationship. I know that this is only for the summer, but what about college? What about, at "worst,"if I go to Rochester and he goes to the University of Chicago? That's a ten hour drive either direction. I really don't want to do that again.
But that doesn't mean I think we should break up after senior year. There's so much we don't know about our future that it'd be silly to do anything except continue doing what we've been doing. I'm happy for the progress we've made. I've allowed myself to begin picturing a future with TJ, something that wasn't very easy to do. I'm looking forward to that future, but I remain wary and thus not as attached as I'd gotten in my prior relationship. I know things can change in the blink of an eye, and all I have to do is remember it. Whatever happens, happens. I can't control what TJ does or doesn't do, I can only hope that he thinks the same way as I do and feels the same way about me that I feel about him.
On a lighter note, I have all the money for my tattoo, and I emailed the artist who will be designing it and inking me. After that, it's just a matter of time. This year is my last year of dance; I just...can't waste my time with it anymore. As much as I love dancing, I don't have the time to spend standing around talking when I could be doing homework or studying for tests. It fueled my transition into yoga, which is a more lifelong practice and it successfully destresses me. It truly does wonders.
I've forgotten how much I love summer.
Love,
Caitlyn
Saturday, June 9, 2012
"Seventeen Forever"
By Metro Station
You are young, and so am I
And this is wrong, but who am I to judge?
I feel like heaven when we touch
I guess, for me this is enough
We're one mistake from being together
Let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight
You are young and I am scared
You're wise beyond your years but I don't care
And I can feel your heartbeat
You know exactly where to take me
And this is wrong, but who am I to judge?
I feel like heaven when we touch
I guess, for me this is enough
We're one mistake from being together
Let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight
You are young and I am scared
You're wise beyond your years but I don't care
And I can feel your heartbeat
You know exactly where to take me
We're one mistake from being together
Let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight
Will you remember me?
You ask me as I leave
Remember what I said?
Oh how could I, oh how could I forget?
We're one mistake from being together
Let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight...
Let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight
Will you remember me?
You ask me as I leave
Remember what I said?
Oh how could I, oh how could I forget?
We're one mistake from being together
Let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight...
Love,
Caitlyn
Happy birthday to me tonight, happy birthday to Jimmy for 1 hour and a half from now.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
End of Year Review
School is officially over for the year, as of this past Friday, June 1st. My final grades are 4 B's and 2 A's, and my cumulative weighted GPA after this year should be something like 3.83. I'd be happy for the summer being here if not for the plethora of work I have to do: learn and do assignments for the Evolution chapter in Biology, a fairly large poetry packet with assignments and my world lit paper for English, a (thankfully) extra credit project for history, a cluster (scrapbook, article summaries, and a phone call) of French, and my 4000 word extended essay to research and write. I also have the Borden reunion in California for several days and my month-long class at Rochester.
In between everything, I'll be writing my college applications and trying to relax. TJ got a job, so he'll be busy, and I'll be home. Hopefully we'll get to spend some time together here and there, considering it's our last summer of high school. There's already talk about next summer and taking a road trip as far north as Chicago. But this summer I'd like to just...be a couple. To begin, we have today at the Sponge Docks, and then who knows? I'm hoping to get the beach in, plan all-day movie marathons at home, and plenty of cuteness (then again how can you plan cuteness?). We have forever to be like an old married couple, as we're consistently called, and forever to worry about what comes next. All we know we have is today.
I'll be seventeen in a week, just a year shy of a legal adult. So much to do in so little time, but again, all I have is today. I hate being this age so much, how I know there's all these things I can't do just because I was born a year or two too late and how I already feel like I'm 25, but everyone has their issues to overcome, and being this age is mine. And I hate Florida, but days like today (not too humid, a little warm, mostly clear sky) are good days. Such a shame to be inside, but I'm waiting for TJ to pick me up for our late Greek lunch. Yum.
3/4 done with this blog, and then I move to the already-created college blog.
In between everything, I'll be writing my college applications and trying to relax. TJ got a job, so he'll be busy, and I'll be home. Hopefully we'll get to spend some time together here and there, considering it's our last summer of high school. There's already talk about next summer and taking a road trip as far north as Chicago. But this summer I'd like to just...be a couple. To begin, we have today at the Sponge Docks, and then who knows? I'm hoping to get the beach in, plan all-day movie marathons at home, and plenty of cuteness (then again how can you plan cuteness?). We have forever to be like an old married couple, as we're consistently called, and forever to worry about what comes next. All we know we have is today.
I'll be seventeen in a week, just a year shy of a legal adult. So much to do in so little time, but again, all I have is today. I hate being this age so much, how I know there's all these things I can't do just because I was born a year or two too late and how I already feel like I'm 25, but everyone has their issues to overcome, and being this age is mine. And I hate Florida, but days like today (not too humid, a little warm, mostly clear sky) are good days. Such a shame to be inside, but I'm waiting for TJ to pick me up for our late Greek lunch. Yum.
3/4 done with this blog, and then I move to the already-created college blog.
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