"Do What Feels Right"

As I posted previously, I was accepted into my first choice university, the University of Rochester. With that hurdle out of the way, my next concern was "How in the hell am I going to pay for this?"

My projected financial aid package for my freshman year came in yesterday, and basically I have to find a little over $11,000 to meet the cost of attendance. I would take the rest of it out in loans, but my federal loans were already at $7,000 per year, and I'd prefer not to be about $72,000 in debt after my Bachelor's degree. So after I looked into it a little more by talking to a current UofR student, I feel confident that I can lower that difference in cost some.

BUT (there's always a but isn't there?) it came to my attention that my family's financial situation may significantly improve once my mom graduates school in 2013, as she'll be getting a job (probably by 2014). What that means is that while my freshman and sophomore years may be all worked out, my aid for the subsequent years is going to disappear drastically. Is it selfish of me to want my mom to remain unemployed? Probably. However, I didn't make her life decisions that caused her to be this way, and because it's not my fault she's living this way, she shouldn't make me suffer in debt (or wallowing in depression because I can't go to where my heart wants me to go).

Then I did a little research on how to become a "financial independent," meaning the school wouldn't need any more financial information from my parents. It would maintain, roughly (if I'm reading into all of this right), that my aid would stay the same, and my mom can go do with her life as she pleases. But becoming an independent would involve more than just me, so that's something to think about. Or if Mom becomes as financially successful as she thinks, then she can take out the Parent PLUS loan that every other kid's parents do to afford college and take the burden off the student because that's what GOOD parents do. But anyway, yeah money's a big issue for me.

So today, I moved around kinda depressed and pissed off because I would rather die than go to UCF, and it clicked that if it's meant to be, it'll work out. And I realized how bad I want to go to Rochester, how bad I NEED to go to Rochester. And I remembered the MastersCard commercials that go something like "Bathing suits: $30. Tickets to the Bahamas: $2,000. Making once-in-a-lifetime memories: priceless." It reminded me that I'm only going to college once in my life, and I need to do things the way they should be. And I certainly didn't stay in IB just to go to a school I hate. I'd rather owe $150,000 (guestimation) and have an amazing experience that I can't get back than "save" money and be absolutely miserable. Then I opened my daily Dove chocolate and read the message inside (sometimes I do and sometimes I don't), and it said "Do what feels right." I've been in a logical vs. emotional, pros vs. cons tie for a long time about Rochester, and that little message of encouragement broke it.

And so, here I go.

Signed,
An (once I get the $800 enrollment deposit) Official Yellowjacket